How to Talk to Women for Complete Autists
Remastering an iFunny classic upon request.
Disclaimer: As we discussed in my other post, I am not particularly attractive. I feel comfortable writing this because I’ve had disproportionate success with women for a man of my appearance. I’m remastering this iFunny classic for Le Kissless Handholdless Virgin Incels, not for guys who have game or are at least moderately attractive.
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
Are you a kissless, handholdless virgin or just above that threshold? Do you languish about being alone in your prime? Do you want to know why women seem impossible to successfully encounter? If so, keep reading!
There’s 2 principles that I keep in mind that have greatly improved my odds of a meaningful connection with women:
1. It’s your fault
If women ghost you, or are uninterested, or don’t approach you, you need to accept that it’s your fault. If you have the fundamentals for connection with women that we will discuss, the interaction will come. If you’re autistic, you need to prepare for interactions with women like you’re about to be a starting quarterback in the Super Bowl. At a base level, human psychology is pretty easy to influence. If you say the right stuff and do the right things, your chances of a successful encounter are good. And even if it doesn’t work out, you’d have the tools that will make it work in the future so you can be confident.
So, you need to have a gameplan. You need to get your reps, lots of them. You need to get all the intangible factors tipping the scale in your favor. You need to study the behaviors of more successful men, incorporating what you like from their playstyles without trying to download their entire personality.
In my own life, I went from shy around women to cold approaching with ease. How? I unironically studied men that were successful with women. I refined my behavior, retooling before every night out to trim what wasn’t working. I constantly experimented, I constantly reflected. When I got home, I’d ask myself the same questions. Why didn’t that joke land? Why didn’t she give me her number? What did I do wrong here? Over time, I sculpted my conversational skills into a strength (as we will discuss).
That never would’ve happened if I didn’t own my failures and understand that it was exclusively, solely my fault.
Shallow? Maybe. But you should be doing this anyway, just in different contexts. Let’s say you have a friend that hates when you bring something up. If you stop bringing something up to have better encounters with him, you’re implementing this refining process. The difference is that around women, it needs to be intense and deliberate. Women are not going to drag you across the finish line, you need to develop yourself into a product worth purchasing. Accountability of your weaknesses is the first step.
Remember always: Being ugly is a choice.
2. CONVEY VALUE.
Forget your enlightened, modern perspective on dating. This is a very primal concept, women are looking for providers and caretakers at an evolutionary level. They are looking for someone who they will benefit from being with, when compared to not being with you. In a monkey brain frame, they are looking for a man worthy of impregnating them. They are constantly evaluating and selecting (and consciously daydreaming about) men in their lives in the context of having children.
Here are some methods for conveying value:
A. Get ripped.
This is the single greatest piece of advice for a multitude of reasons. First, a muscular body is inherently attractive, subconsciously too. It shows you have a high chance of surviving, can sustain large amounts of self-discipline over long periods of time (important for a potential mate/guardian), can make correct decisions on use of time/nutrition, and are generally healthy (mentally too).
Nothing is more important than being in shape. Nothing conveys more value, nothing signifies more to a woman that she stands to gain from picking you out of the crowd.
In my life, I’ve seen this time and time again. Women love fitness so much that they love stuff only vaguely related to the concept: forearm veins, sweat, muscle striation, sweatpants/joggers etc.
If you’re ugly, or short, or otherwise genetic trash, you’re playing from behind. You need to work out more. I’ve seen 5’8 guys have great success because they’re shrimply ripped. Conversely, I’ve seen 6’2+ dudes flop over and over because they’re lanklets or fat.
If you take one thing away from this entire manifesto, work out.
B. Convey Normality
Humans are tribal, communal animals, we depend on one another much more than may be apparent. Women (generally) want to see that they will not be ostracized from an in-group as a result of being seen with you. To pick an extreme example, let’s say you’re a specific woman’s dream guy but you want her to go to a KKK rally or something with you. She has to compare and contrast the benefits of doing that with the potential from isolation from her in-group (the adjusted, regular part of society).
This is why chads are on sports teams, and why women find uniforms attractive. You need to display that you are seen as valuable by other men. Consider somebody like the football quarterback: he is the most valuable player on the team. An entire organization of fit, violent men depend on his decision making- they will live and die by his performance. Who do girls stereotypically fall for?
You need to be able to convey normality in that you are accepted by a group of other regular, romantically competitive men. This can take basically infinite forms, a lifting/workout group for example. Inversely, being in a little Discord clique of other disenfranchised men can only be a permanent passive debuff.
There are many prerequisites for conveying normality that traditional dating advice has likely spammed at you for years. You need a decent haircut, sense of style, hygiene etc. to be accepted. You need several factors that convey the pack has accepted you, this is also why Brads orbit Chads.
C. Acquire Social Acumen
You might’ve seen this described as “confidence”. Women want to see that you are a high-value individual. They want to see that there is a demand for you and your attention, that others value your opinion. They want to see that you have options other than themselves, that your attention is worthwhile. This is why women just assume Chad has a harem of other women he’s juggling, even if he doesn’t. They just assume that high value men have other women competing for their attention.
The best way to acquire social acumen is to get reps. You have to treat this like weightlifting or any other sport. You have to practice. Doing so is dependent on your individual personality, so I can only offer general advice. The point is, you need social skills to succeed. You can run the marathon of getting ripped, dressing well, being confident, etc. but if you don’t have social skills, you’re just blowing your own head off at the finish line.
In older generations, this was called being a “conversationalist”. It was treated as a legit skill that one could tangibly improve. That’s still true today. The only way to improve at something is to do it- you have to approach women your age and practice your social skills. Yes, I know it’s nerve racking. This is another reason why it helps to be built, it acts as a shield for you to hide behind in the beginning. Even if your voice quivers and your palms sweat, GRIND IT OUT. Do it over and over again (without being weird), acquire new tricks, even rehearse scripted responses in your head if that’s what it takes. Over time, this will become easy and fluid, and you won’t need to store a dialogue tree in your head.
Here’s a crude, psychologically proven method to cold approach people: the ARE method.
Anchor:
Anchor the conversation in something you both have in common. You need a solid reason for why the conversation is occurring. Example: “Hey, you’re in Diversity 101 with Dr. Goldstein, right?”. Example of what not to say: “I couldn’t help but notice that dress you’re wearing xD”
Reveal:
Reveal something of high value about you. This is to entice further conversation, and the hardest part of “sticking the landing”. If you drop it, it’ll probably be due to your reveal not landing. Example: “Yeah, that last test wasn’t too hard for me. Maybe because Chad and I studied for it beforehand”. Example of what not to say: “You know, I actually wear dresses too outside class xD”
Explain:
Explain how you can convert a connection with you into something concretely beneficial. Why should she come back to you, or mentally swipe right? Why is your high value something she might seek to acquire? Example: “Chad, Thad, and some of the other guys from class were thinking about making a study group. Maybe you can join us at St. Floyd Hall next week?” Example of what not to say: “I saw you failed that test because I was standing behind you when the professor was returning our papers. You should be alone with me in a private area to study for the next one. I have a gun btw”.
Of course, this is just an example. If you winced reading my sample comments, it’s not because they’re cringe, its because I’m running a different playbook than you with its own strengths and weaknesses. As we will get to, it is essential to have a nuanced approach to absorbing and acting on new information.
But let’s take this sample conversation at face value. By making a connection to Chad, you’re relaying that you’re socially “in”. Revealing your high marks on the test shows you have something that she doesn’t, something she could easily desire. A casual, confident offer to join your study group conveys that you have social mobility, that you’re in demand and capable of managing social resources with beneficial end states.
Again, not perfect. But if you’re autistic, ARE is a solid foundation that you can tailor to your skills. See it as a bridge that allows you to start farming XP until you can develop your own playstyle. I ran this thing so many times, dude.
4. Bring in X-Factors:
An attractive young woman likely has several other guys vying for her. To stand out, you need several traits that can be deployed to establish individuality. Think of them like cards to play, star-power knockout punches that can push the initiative to take an encounter from “good to great”. Here’s some of the most common:
Owning a dog: good in its own right but demonstrates empathy, maturity, and caretaking skills. Bonus buff for white women
Artistic hobby: Demonstrates that you, a primal beast, have a soft side (maybe one worth exploring) and are emotionally acclimated.
Conveying intelligence through stimulating conversations: This one is playing with fire. You need to walk a fine line between not appearing like a meathead, and not boring a woman who wants to be entertained with novel debate on WWII tanks.
I had other examples but you get the point. Tailor these to your strengths like customizing an RPG build. Let’s say you aren’t artistically gifted, there’s no point in pulling out your phone to show her a bunch of horrible paintings you made. Non-artistic guys often try this with poetry for some reason, a medium that is particularly horrible if not done right.
This Segways into my last, essential point.
YOU NEED NUANCE!!
Another skill that can only come from practice. Understanding, processing, and applying nuance is vital for a successful encounter with women. No two women respond to the same ARE prompt the same, for instance. You need to understand this, while also incorporating perceptiveness into your calculations. How is she dressed? What setting is she in? Who is she with? Have you overheard a conversation with others? What’s her body language?
There’s so many factors, and you need to try to understand them all. Let’s say she’s at a party, bar, or other social gathering. You need to understand that she is likely more willing to entertain social interaction and thus you don’t need to “swing for the fences” in your opening. The inverse is true of places like the library (where I work out btw), a poorly lit street at night, or hallways in a lecture hall.
Developing nuance requires a certain amount of cleverness and abstract thinking. What can you infer about a girl with dyed money piece bangs and dressed like Le stereotypical goth outfit:
Maybe that she spends a lot of time online, with extra weight on platforms like Twitter and TikTok. Maybe that she has a real personality, she doesn’t want to blend in/even wants to stand out, that she wants the attention the outfit brings. How far you can read into this stuff depends on how smart you are, and your skill in correctly interpreting environmental factors.
Nuance also applies in the way you build and refine your skills: you have to understand that dating situations are so individualistic that there is no “secret weapon”. I told you to study the men that have better success than you, which I think is good advice. But the input you get from them needs to go into a mental library, compared and contrasted with men who did something different and still got results. It needs to be tailored to YOU, your experience and your skills. Just “pretending to be someone” is see-through, embarrassing, and pathetic. Women can sniff out a desperate retard trying to be Ryan Gosling from a mile away.
I’ve seen this with guys pretending to be guys they clearly aren’t. One dude I know got the Gen Z broccoli haircut because he saw how guys with it always pull women. That is a classic example of NOT deploying Nuance.
Essential Disclaimer: Do NOT be creepy.
So many “pickup artists” are legitimately creepy, even from a male perspective. They’re smothering, aggressive, and typically demanding. Yes, I’ve given rather robotic advice about how to forcefully reprogram yourself to be more appealing. This is necessary because YOU are retarded, not the women you want. They don’t owe you anything. Rage-quitting because you got rejected is a sign you’re weak and insecure.
I’ve seen Youtube videos where guys will do things like start off with an insult (“I bet you have so many bodies”) to “tease” women into being interested. Sure, a small percentage will respond to this playfully, especially when you’re otherwise attractive. This is still an awful attempt at the Anchor from the ARE method. Most women are clever enough to see through such “tactics” as well, especially when they move in groups that are also analyzing you.
Do not persist when they’re clearly uninterested. Do not force an interaction that is not going to go anywhere. Do not set up arbitrary milestones for success like demanding a phone number. Do not pester the women on your campus/in your area with your presence. Not only is this gross, you WILL develop a reputation. Women are social animals too, and if you keep up the Patrick Bateman schtick near them you’ll notice how they quietly melt away whenever you’re around. I have had many conversations with college-age women where a guy gets blackballed as creepy ( some deserving, some not), and his chances on the entire campus are zero until he graduates.
Think of it like a battle: step one is knowing whether to fight it in the first place. A general that is incapable of retreat, of a dignified withdrawal, is not a good general. Likewise, do not be overbearing in your attempts to be confident. I knew a guy that would hang around the laundry room of the all-women dorm to catch them as they came out with their baskets, at night. He was creepy, and never got anywhere. If you read that and thought it was a good strategy (instead of suicide fuel), you’re not ready to be around women yet. Lift weights.
Another key indicator of successful nuance: you need to be respectful of women without white knighting. Women don’t want a nice guy, they equally do not want someone who leans into the douchebag persona to the point of estrangement. Your goal is to be confident, not repulsive.
Closing Thoughts / Analogies:
A good conversation can be compared to many things. With women, they will instinctively be on the defensive because they almost always know why you’re talking to them. High social acumen men understand this, and can “play the game”- when she demonstrates that she wants to. This is the difference between “playing hard to get” and “trying to avoid getting raped”. The test here is in flirting: a foundational piece of a good encounter. Playfulness, attentiveness, and otherwise engaging your advances are great signs, and serve as your greenlight to get in your bag of tricks. You will know within seconds whether your Anchor and Reveal were successful. When they are, she becomes something like a goalie, except she basically wants to be scored on. You need to deftly navigate shot-blocking techniques, while remaining in the rules of the game. In soccer, you can’t just body slam the goalie to the ground and expect your score to count. Likewise, subtlety and nuance are essential in successful encounters.
Another good analogy: an interested woman is like a fencing partner. Take what she gives you, in a ballroom dance kind of way. A conversation should ebb and flow as you “trade blows”. Talking exclusively about yourself is boring and poor technique, like only fending blows in a fencing match and never returning fire. Likewise, playing 20 Questions with her is the fencing equivalent of doing nothing but trying to land killshots. It’s poor technique. You need to have a balance of offense and defense, understanding when to pivot between the two. When she gives you an “in” to continue the conversation, take it! Ask her about that Goth outfit. Maybe tease her about wanting to stand out so badly. Just understand when to pivot, when to lay off and when to press your advantage.
A good conversation is like a game of tug-of-war, except the goal for you is to keep the rope in the center without her realizing. Monologuing is dangerous, and typically poor form. Likewise, easily ripping the rope out of her hands is not sporting or entertaining. Why would she keep playing? Count time that you’re speaking as tugging on the rope, don’t yank it out of her hands. Also, as a man with high value, you don’t need to be babbling all the time anyway. Let your intangibles (body language, 6 pack) speak for themselves.
I think the early stages of improving yourself should include women of all stripes, but you should focus on girls that are your taste over time. For example, I used to cold approach Stacys that I knew I didn’t have a shot with. The beautiful, hyper extroverted, vape hitting, Chad orbiting type; over time I understood the juice was just not worth the squeeze in dealing with that type even though the gratification from a successful encounter with them was insane.
Stealth dropping dis one as it was sitting in drafts and I'll be too busy to write for a while here. Lmk what you guys want me to write about. Otherwise imma keep chucking bricks and judging based off of engagement. Click like NOW.
Okay but dating is actually stupid because I've heard about so many cool things being brought down by strong men's bitch wives forcing them to spend all of their free time at home or some nasty bar. If women weren't succubussys we could have epic battles and niggas would be living like the dudes from gmod animations and filthy frank videos but instead we have to appease bitch mc-cheats-a-lot and get shekels from mr. noseberg